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commonly populatr authors you think are crap artists

topic posted Mon, November 5, 2007 - 4:20 PM by  HunnyDu
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list your top 3

*Robin Cook

*Dean Koontz

*Michael Chriton
posted by:
HunnyDu
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  • Well, I gotta say Robbins, don't I?

    Dickens.

    I don't like Atwood, but it doesnt rise to that level.

    Swathes of the self help industry...I can't actually say that I read any of the 4 Agreements, but it has that smell. And the Celestine Prophacy.

    Dan Brown, at a guess. Mitchner too.

    Someone I'm not going to name, because last time I slammed the person I stopped hearing about him in this tribe.

    Judy Blume.
  • Clive Cussler is by far the WORST author I've ever read. Ever.

    Tom Robbins got really boring really quick, although I still enjoy Skinny Legs and All.

    I know there's more...hmm...
    • See, to me, Cussler isn't really aspiring to be much more that a writer of adventure stories and as far as I can tell except for science fiction fantasy modern writers of adventure stories have to walk a minefeild (SF/Fantasy walk a different one) in termsof what they can and cannot say. Anyway, what he's trying to do is just write a book, and he succeeds. He would have been better in the hospital than Colbert... I'm too confused to say, but what I'm getting at is his work is basically minor with no pretentions to more. So for me, he's not worth putting in effort hating him. Oh well.
      • I have to nod and agree with Cussler... He never makes any pretense to being a world class writer. He is Hardy Boys for adults...

        It's the Oprah Book Club/Chick Lit crap that makes me sick... People read this drivel as if it is some amazing breakthroughs in writing... Nicholas Sparks, Life of Pi etc... ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
        • Robert Jordan
          John Grisham
          Robin Cook
          • Maeve Bingy, she writes like a 6 grader who is trying to get an A for spelling.
            • Oh man, good call!!!
              • Unsu...
                 
                Crypto and Mr. Indie, you guys need to start some threads about books you like! So far most of the commentary you give us is what you think is total shit.
                • OOOOOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOOOO. What I need to do. Maybe there's someone out there who knows what I must do. And someone who knows what I should do. And someone who knows what I ought to do. How do I manage to live my life without all these helpful people and their special insights into the horrible life changing events I've experienced over the past two years. Dang, when you get down to it, I've been struggling alone for 43 years, it's amazing I'm not dead!

                  Well, I'm gonna tell you what I WILL do. I'm going to continue to be the contankerous old cuss I've been, that my husband fell in love with, that far to many others find to be an inspiration and I'm going to IGNORE helpful advice from twits. I can make amess of my own life, thank you.

                  and by the way



                  John Fucking Irving. Hotel New Hampshire is its own circle of hell.
                  • This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
                    Unsu...
                     
                    I just wanted to know what books you liked, Crypto.
                    • Next time you might try: "Crypto and Mr. Indie, you both are so passionate about books, and I'd really like to know more about some of the books you love."

                      I'm not the only person to whom "you need to" amounts to fighting words.

                      And for what it's worth, the last thread I started about a book has absolutely no answers.
                      • Unsu...
                         
                        I think we've all had threads in here that went unanswered. I'm sorry I worded my statement the way I did, I didn't expect you to be quite so sensitive. I meant it as a suggestion, not a demand. I do notice mostly negative responses from you, and I certainly am not asking you to be anything other than who you are, but it would be nice to hear about books that you DO like. I would like to know more about some of the books you read, and I'm sorry that my comment hit you the way it did. I was trying to be lighthearted, and poke some fun at how negative you can be in most other threads. Sometimes things don't come across quite the way you intend them to online I suppose. You don't have to do anything anyone tells you, much less twits (thanks).
        • Unsu...
           
          Agreed on Nicholas Sparks - I had to write a paper on his horrid "Three Weeks with my Brother" in a college English class - yuck. I tried to like him since he and I are from the same town, but the book was just too terrible...

          And that one female mystery writer (whose name I always forget) - she seems to come out with a book every six months and they show up in the grocery store check out line with titles and hot-pink covers that make me nauseous.
  • Anne Rice, why is it that i can power my way through just about anything but her work? I think she writes like an arrogant high schooler who never learned how to edit her first draft.

    I also agree with Dean Koontz and Michael Chriton, (people get exited when they put out a new book, but I still can't understand why)

    Heinlein, I can't really say that he's such a horrible writer, I just don't understand why people think he's a good writer.
    • What a great fewkin' thread! Except y'all already nailed most of the bad writers I'd choose.

      I agree wholeheartedly on Crichton. When you read one of his books, it almost reads like a screenplay for a bad movie, which is appropriate, since all of his books get made into fairly cheezy movies 3 seconds after they're published...(although I'll admit to liking Jurassic Park...only the first one, mind you).

      Ditto on Heinlein. THE most overrated scifi writer EVER!!!

      And since someone also already took Celestine Prophecy, I'm gonna knock hard on John Gray and his whole "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" empire. What a load of crap! He came and signed at our bookstore like 12 years ago. I wanted to slap the fawn eyed looks offa each and every one of his acolyte's faces! I mean, you take a basic meme from Roman mythology and make it into a billion bucks worth of bullshit. Okay, mayhap I'm a litle jealous he thought of it first...
      • You know John Gray got his PhD. from a now unaccredited diploma mill, right? He's a hack and a shyster and should be laughed off the face of this planet at least. For more read here: ourworld.compuserve.com/homepa...ool.htm

        And yes, Heinlein is a sad little pulp writer best suited to the lower levels of the YA category. There is so much wonderful, thoughtful, beautifully written science fiction available to readers that it just makes me sad that people continue to blindly lionize a hack.

        I'd nominate Paulo Coelho as crappiest current popular author. I can read him in the original Portuguese and he's *still* not any good. How sad that great, profoundly humanistic writers like Patrick Modiano, Liliane Giraudon, Dacia Maraini and Kono Taeko get passed over by major publishers for dreck like this.
        • I agree that John Gray is crap, and ditto whoever wrote "Why men can't listgen and women don't read maps", however, I disagree on "John fucking Irving". Irving is one of my favourite authors. Yes, some of his books have similar, recurring themes, but still I loved reading most of them.
          I hate those that claim to offer the only/revolutionarily new or whatever solution to some problem and then sell you their glib line of bs. A lot of the self help books are written in that fashion (see above exemples).
          Coelho's Alchemist was a wonderful read, but the rest of his I found hard to finish.

          • J.K. God Damn Rowling
            • 1.) Anne Rice (Argghhhh!! She is WAYYYyyyyyyyy Overrated!!)
              2.) Stephen King (Sorry Mr. King...you USE to write stuff that was actually good at one point!)
              3.) Michael Crichton (see above statement)
              • Heya Elyse... I had no problems with your post to us at all. Frankly I would love to discuss books that I loved, however as Crypto has mentioned, none of the threads I have started have gone anywhere. *Laugh* It's the same when I go into music stores, and ask if they have any CD's by bands I enjoy. (No one knows who or what I am talking about...) Also I do not claim in any way to have discovered some hidden stash of eminently amazing writers. I love off beat writers, music and movies. If it gets played on the radio, put on an endcap at Borders, or played in the theater, than the odds that I will like it are very slim. Everything has become so very cookie cutter in the entertainment world.

                As for this thread... well let's all admit that it is much easier to point out things you dislike, than the things you love. *Laugh* Lately I seem to have little energy for either. What I really dislike, is when something gets over exposed, and called the greatest "Fill in the blank", when in reality there are thousands of better authors, bands, or movies...

                Lastly, and I am being totally open and honest to the extreme here... I have a memory like a steel sieve... I forget about 95% of what I read in a given year. I used to keep a list but I stopped years ago. So maybe one book out of the hundred plus I read a year will stick in my mind, and that book is rarely the best, just the most interesting or funny.
              • I used to like both King and Rice, but now think they have become diluted, formulaic, greedy, arrogant, novel-cranking sell-outs. Before I got to this post I was thinking of starting a sub-thread called "Formerly Good Authors Who Have Gone to $h!T," but the two you've mentioned and my ensuing rant pretty much got that out of my system. Thanks!
  • L. Ron Hubbard ... need I say more?

    Any Rand - she makes me want to take my eyes out with a spoon.

    Stephen King - For inspiring the most gawd awful never-ending horror mini-series / movies. Not only are his stories simplistic and boring but they spawn into the most idiotic cinema as well.
    • You didn't like The Shining?
      • ... who couldn't love and freak out over the Shining. I suppose I should have qualified my statement to "recent as in after the 80s were over but I'm sure there are still exceptions" books and cinema. I got all carried away with the bombardment of ads for the new King based movie coming out that is so close to the last King based movie that was following the mini-series before that, all of which have all been total tripe.
        • The Shining is where he should have retired and stayed retired. That was like another planet though.

          Even though I liked the book amazingly enough I liked the movie better.
          • Mary Higgins Clark

            Stuart Woods--you've read one of his, you've read them all. Stone Barrington gets in some sort of trouble, has sex with some hot rich girl, gets out of trouble, drives his fancy Mercedes, eats at the same restaurant-hell-I know he is a fictional character but my God he has a boring life!!

            Jonathan Franzen--does this guy even know why periods are used??? Alex, I'll take periods for one thousand and then sell a gross of them to this dimwit--maybe if he gets a truckload of 'em he will realize he needs to start using them!!

  • Honestly? Has anyone ever taken a Shakespearean literature class? I never minded reading Shakespear until I took Shakespearean Comdies in college. We read 10 in 10 weeks. It is nothing but garbage. It's like reading the same play over and over again, but someone did find and replace on the city / character names. It's John and Jane in Juneau in one story, the next is Sam and Sandy in San Diego - the rest the same. I wanted to vomit by the end of the 10 weeks.
    • i'd be sick of anybody being crammed down my throught
      seriously 10 in 10 weeks. what a way to teach art...

      let alone what you think of his works, sir bacon, i mean
      shakespeare, practically invented the english language
      with all his works.
      now if you have ills with the english language then,
      that's another story
  • So the impression I'm getting here is that people spend a whole lot
    of time reading books they don't like by authors they think are talentless
    hacks.

    What's up with that?

    If I don't like a book I just don't read it, so it's difficult to determine
    whether or not it's crap.

    So this is really a thread about "guilty pleasures"?
    • In my case it's books I read when desparate or in some earnest attempt to participate in what seemed to be an important cultural phenom. I"m guessing that there's a sort of train wreck thing that goes on as well, when you just have to see how bad the horror is. then the pleasure is in the hatred, not in the book per se.
    • Unsu...
       
      I give (most) authors a chance, and if you hear that they are unbelievable writers you may give them more than one chance. I don't personally know that Danielle Steele's books are garbage, but I'm seeing her name mentioned here a lot and that's just firming up my decision to not read her stuff.

      I think when you read as much as the people in this tribe do, you will occasionally run across some stuff you think is crap. Hence the thread.

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